and he says it all.................

"You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace" (Augustine, Confessions, Book 7).

comments....................

My post (see previous post)  was printed in mamaroo, I am copying a part of the discussion below.  Here is a link if you want to weigh in to the discussion. I have made the comments annonomous here. http://www.momaroo.com/730969010/when-you-adopt-transraciallytaking-off-the-rose-colored-glasses/

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  Hi --- ( the author here),

  
  

  I think my major upset in this situation was this; the medical staff asked questions inappropriate for my daughter's ears.  Granted we hear similar worse things at the supermarket, but that is not coming from someone in a position of authority.  One nurse walked in the room looked at my daughter and without so much as an introduction said, "where ya from?"  The doctor asked if my two Chinese daughters were sisters, "you know *real* sisters".  So yes I think this is an adoptive issue but also a transracial issue.   For sure it is a complete lack of sensitivity, but just because my daughter is *obviously* adopted does not give anyone the right to demand personal info disrespectfully.

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  My husband is a black Saudi and I'm an American white person.  We don't have kids yet but yeah I know how black people are treated in America, my husband has had to experience racism from my family and we've had to deal with them not accepting us for our religon (we're Muslims).  I don't get why people have to look at you like you "stole" a child from some other woman, just because it is bi-racial or trans-racial.  I don't know, that is the impression I think... that when a woman sees a child with a different colored mother then it is automatically assumed that you are not their "real" mother.  You shouldn't have to prove that a bi-racial/trans-racial child is yours, whether birth child or adopted child.  This country should be past discriminating and judging on the basis of color of your skin/religion but sadly that isn't true in many parts of America, particularly if you live in the Deep South.  I hope you teach your daughters to be proud of their original heritage and skin color.  Don't let anybody put them down because they are adopted and don't have their birth parents in their lives.  I know that my family would discriminate against our kids because of them being Muslims, half-Saudis, and possibly black or bi-racial like their father. 

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• I totally agree with you on this.My little sister is adopted and she is 4 years old. Pretty amazing what the people say about her to while she is right there..
  

• They are wonderful children and I am so happy my parents adopted her.

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• 

  - I used to feel compelled to answer all questions. Even by strangers in public settings.  And I could absolutely horrify you by telling you awful things said in front of my children. Now I believe I am doing a disservice to all adoptive parents and their children by "validating" their right to ask intrusive questions.  I am "curious" when I see an "atypical" family, but I control myself because they deserve privacy.

taking off the rose colored glasses

So I will come clean and  tell you that the ER part of our latest adventure was particularly brutal.  Repeatedly, personal info was spoken over my child, "is their *no* family history whatsoever?".  Finally my nine year old said, "We are going to try to find my birth parents!"  Part of me just died that my daughter felt she needed to share this with this intrusive staff.  Really, can they not take me outside the room??? (and yes after this I insisted to be interviewed outside her room)  I also believe that for each staff they had to determine that I was "well bonded/ loved my daughter".  THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME THE 100 TIMES I TOOK MY BIO DAUGHTER TO THE ER FOR HER OUT OF CONTROL ASTHMA.  When I had brought my bio daughter in, I simply had to demonstrate I was sober and had not recently beat her.  Really.  Their is a certain "privilege" you give up when you adopt transracially.  All the "adoption myths" are now applied to you until they are ruled out. 

So for the record:

-Yes I love my bio and adopted kids equally. Really, yes really!

-Yes I would run through fire for *any* one of them.

-Yes yes yes!  I know we look different but she *IS* MY OWN!!!!!! 

I hope for a world when we look past skin tones and races and only see love.

the attack

It isn't that the enemy is attacking you... it is that by helping the orphans we are going behind enemy lines... we are attacking the enemy and he is simply defending his territory.

So, when things go wrong, just keep in mind, YOU are making a difference and are a threat to the enemy or he wouldn't feel the need to defend himself against you. :)

                                                                                       -torresfamilyadoptionblogspot.com

For me I feel a constant attack that goes like this, "look you are not a good enough job raising the kids you *do* have!  Why would you *add* another???"  This hit home pretty hard yesterday when I handed my oldest daughter a cookie that unbeknownst to me had a walnut in it.  She ate a bite and had to be rushed to the ER, epi pen in hand.  At home we had given her a lot of medication and by the time we got to the ER she was stable, in the area of breathing at least, thank God!  But she was in a lot of pain the rest of the night.   Yes I feel just awful!!!!!  I had kept a nut free house for years trying to protect her but we as a family decided to add nuts in the house so our daughter got used to being "on guard" since she was leaving for college and life would be full of the threat of nuts and she would have to be able to maneuver safely around them.  I feel like the witch who handed sleeping beauty a poison apple.  But the *truth* is my children's safety is in God's hands ultimately.  We need to do our best to keep them safe but we cannot protect them against everything, only God can.  So our Haitian dossier' is in translation and I plan to say alot more St. Michael prayers.

LOVE LARGER......